I won’t lie, this past week was a challenge. Thanksgiving in the states, families converge and it is a time of celebrating togetherness and love.
While I had no intention of cooking a full Thanksgiving dinner, that’s just what I did. It wasn’t a burden just something the I could do to keep the peace and contribute to another’s contentment and experience of normalcy, which I believe is the goal for some folks.
I am still challenged with this “opinion” work. How will I ever be able to be free of my opinion of just about everything? First I must ask, what is the pattern in place that is a requirement of my opinion about such subject? Random opinions? For what reason? Mostly they really do no good. They are meant to help? No, I don’t think so. They might be that a connection or sense of belonging is needed? Perhaps. That seems more likely.
I still so want to get it right. What in the world does that even mean? I try. By golly I try hard at everything. Always focused on improving.
Is that good? I don’t know.
I know things are shifting. Things that were important even a week ago seem unimportant. My values still remain steadfast. Kindness – above all. Compassion. Creativity. Competency. Trustworthiness. These have been with me as beacons for over 10 years now. I recall actually writing these out in Austin with my 15 month old son. They are as strong as ever. So that’s something.
It has now become a routine action as I wake almost to the minute at 4:45am with no alarm. I’m just awake and ready to create. That is fun. Because I chose this time and it feels good to have that wee early time to do my meditations.
I want so much for my sons – I want to give them everything and I thought that I was by staying in the marriage. That is the painful piece right now. That loss. That 17 years of connection. I am using the tools of EFT to help with the sadness and the loss and the loneliness. The self worthiness that comes up – that’s there to be cleared. So stay the course. Accept and expect the process to be as such. That it’s not something to be instantly fixed or replaced with something else.
I am building new foundations. New peptides. New blueprints. It is a gift to be a part of the Master Key MMA. So grateful to Mark for his words this Sunday. Coffee talk! I love so much being connected to truly kind and good people. That fills me with hope. With the impetus to continue my work and live my definite major purpose here on this earthly plain.
I will remember his story this week – the mama on the porch, growing a baby, watching the stars, healing a sick husband, taking care of the home all the while – growing that little baby.
What precious life is growing in the earth right now? What is lying dormant in wait for the spring to blossom. Blessings. True and miraculous blessings.
Peace, Love, Joy.