To Experience Life or To Be Experienced by Life

Master Key Master Mind Alliance Week 17 HJ

My father was an electrical engineer, ahead of his time for certain. His understanding and skill in mathematics and electrical engineering balanced well with his knowledge and experience in the field of the spirit, nature and the esoteric. Because he could see things the average person could not even fathom an understanding and communicate it in fun terms, I learned a lot about this growing up.

My younger brothers are now both competent if not brilliant engineers and skilled in complex understanding of this field. For years I thought I didn’t get that gene, but I’m now coming to an understanding of particles and waves that was always there, only defined by other terms. These terms were in the form of spirit, nature and what I will call esoteric. That is where my connection with my father and the “gene” that was most active for me came to play.

I don’t know if this blog is a place for my musings of the universe – of particles, waves, electrons, energy…at least not at this time.

Because I am playing a game – an experiment, the hero’s journey with the Master Key Master Mind Alliance and allowing whatever is to unfold happen naturally, I don’t feel confident sharing my reality of the universe for the purpose of shaking another’s.

My purpose in this life is to see and hold highest good and best outcome for all – but not judge what that highest good and best outcome might be.

My reality is very different than most of the general population. I bend spoons – not regularly as that makes for poorly usable cutlery. But as a result of my journey, I realize quite rightly, that reality is as you experience it. And as you experience it, it is as you see it. As you see it, so you experience it.

Yes, I know. It’s like that.

It’s the chicken or the egg. If a tree falls…et al.

But the work I’ve put in over the last 17 weeks has been more effective and provided tangible results of more stable and consistent results of my dream, my definite chief aim in life and I believe it’s very valuable and a worthy pursuit.

So let’s start there. You might want to have a definite chief aim, a destination, a direction. It’s too easy to go adrift and get caught up in the old, plus things are moving at a much higher speed than even 5 years ago to go crashing around at random, if not unpleasant experiences.

It’s also to easy to be experienced by life, instead of experiencing life.

And as the great Joseph Campbell says, we are here to experience life.

We just don’t have to experience it as effect.

What if there were no heaven above us, no hell below us, only Earth and Sky?

Master Key Master Mind Alliance Week 17

What if everything you believed to be true, was false?

What if what you thought was important was not?

What if every problem was an opportunity?

What if every challenge was a path to gaining a skill?

What if you were completely whole?

What if the delay was not a denial?

What if there was no such thing as failure?

What if you were living a dream?

What if you were creating the dream?

What if your family was perfect?

What if there was harmony on earth?

What if the universe was for you?

What if you were perfect?

What if they were happy?

What if she was strong?

What if he were loving?

What if you could know?

What if you could understand?

What if you were powerful?

What if that is a miracle?

What if you are a miracle?

What if you could sit?

What if you could be still?

What if you could get silent?

What if you could reemerge?

What if you could be?

What if we all could be… whole, perfect, happy…?

What if we could all understand truth?

Do You Practice Kindness Towards Yourself?

Master Key Master Mind Alliance Week 16

I would have answered this differently a week ago.

This week our Master Mind Alliance has been on a KINDNESS fiesta! Noticing acts of kindness. Participating and expressing kindness. This could be in a word, a deed or any kind expression.

One of the values I hold highest and most dear is that of Kindness.

I learned early on the power of kindness. My father was not only one of the most kind but also the most generous of souls. However, he showed it in a quiet and unassuming way. He was able to hold space for another person, no matter their race, color, creed, station in life or other – he could hold this energy of  pure kindness. So I grew up with the idea that it wasn’t just an act but a presence.

The acts that my father, and really both my parents, would carry out for so many people, were generous acts of kindness. However, there were times when those acts of kindness to others, was an act of brutality and deprivation to themselves.

We learn what we live.

My father gave so much to others – in the form of loaning his car, his time, his treasure, his talent, his wisdom, his peace, his shoulder. To this day, I’ve not met another who surpassed this level of kindness shared to others without any expectation of a return. It’s just who he was.

As I practiced an increasing level of kindness this week, giving little gifts that could support another, going out of my way in some acts, and just doing any little thing that could make a big or small difference, I experienced a greater understanding for the power of kindness to one self.

Every day I work to improve myself.

To be a better mom, a better friend, a better teacher, woman, person, business owner, healer. Constant improvement.

You’d think I’d be perfect with all this work! NOT.

Clearly there is much to learn, or I just have a long way to go? No, I don’t think that either.

More likely, it’s just a continuous process of progressing forward.

So with this work, if I do something that seems to upset another, I consider that I have fallen short of my best. I dig to correct this error and make up any damage caused.

But what I have done also, is to punish myself. To blame myself, even shame myself a bit (been getting way better since studying Brene’ Brown and Pema Chodran).

In one instance, I genuinely gave from a place of kindness with no need for any acknowledgment or anything in return, but it was received as a betrayal.

That was so fascinating and deeply sad to me.

It is a place where I had to bring all the compassion to myself I could muster in order to understand that it wasn’t about me.

Because I completely introverted and it hit a place inside of me: a mixed jumble of judgment and punishment, shaming and blaming, fear, self loathing and unworthiness. A dark place indeed. Places I feel no one should ever need tread.

(Right now in this red hot moment I wish more than anything that no other being, no other person, soul, human, animal, of any chi structure, ever have to experience that form of torture. Hear my prayer.)

As I processed the experience, and continued to give in ever increasing abundance, kindness from my heart, I began to give more and more kindness to my self! This in turn allowed me to receive kindness, words, acts, expressions of kindness from so many areas. Were they always there and I just had not received them?

Had I not been open to recognizing these kindnesses?

Yes, I believe so. A lesson. Valuable indeed.

I realized I didn’t have to ask for approval from this person. That I gave the best of myself, in a kind and generous way. That it was received through a filter of their own sadness, convictions and demons. Perhaps they had their own idea of what it meant to be kind to themselves and that that was their way of expressing it as it served some need in them. It is after all my opinion of their reaction.

We can never know what is in another’s head or heart.

But we should never set our compass based on another’s heart set or mind set.

We must cultivate our own kindness. Kindness toward ourselves first. That is the greatest lesson for me this week.

How I wish I could express this to my father. How I wish I could tell him how grateful I am for every act of kindness he showed to me and that I observed him do. That his legacy lives on and that I am eternally grateful to have known him and been his daughter. I know, likely you do as well, that he does know. But a part of me so deeply wants to look in his physical eyes, tell him thank you from the deepest part of my heart and hug him for every hug I failed to give him and myself over the past 48+ years.  For now, this will suffice, thank you for being my father and for being my angel now. I have felt your presence this week and KINDNESS is omnipresent.

This week…so much has happened. So much continues to happen. Those of us on this MKMMA journey know this. It is life changing. To cultivate with a group of individuals around the globe for a common purpose. It’s powerful.

Love and Light

Stephana

The cover photo is me – Kelly my former husband and friend, came over with an act of kindness toward each other, I modeled for him and he got to test out a cool new camera lens!! Awesome!! That’s me channeling Game of Thrones through fashion 😉

Finding Your Stride

Master Key Master Mind Week 15 Experience

You know when you’ve been working at something a bit challenging that you really want to accomplish? You know that point at which you’ve persisted, you’ve put in the work, the sits, the readings, the piles of index cards, the focus, the determination, the will, the love, the joy???

You know that moment when everything just clicks? That it all becomes effortless?

Well…I’ve hit my stride!

I’ve practiced some form of martial arts or active improvement always. So I’m familiar with the ebb and flow. Familiar with the sensation of beginning something new and it being difficult or feeling clumsy, sometimes excruciating before the calluses have built up. And I know to continue on my chosen path now, because that is the only way through.

I usually don’t run from too much, mainly because I am mindful as to what I choose to pursue. Yet I’ve experienced the desire to “run” and rabbit away from the painful or not so cozy, comfy old habits. And that’s just not workable if you want to expand. Those old habits, blueprints, coats – they just won’t fit. And to try to shrink yourself to fit is going to be worse in the long run. I totally have the empirical evidence of this knowledge now.

Looking back over the last year, the last 5 years. I see so many times where I tried to fit back into that old cool jacket I spent years trying to make fit just right only to find myself ripping the delicate seems out as I tried to stretch. When that gorgeous new jacket, albeit a vision, was there underneath all along – a perfect fit for me NOW. It was just waiting for me to shed the old. I wonder if that is what it feels for the snake? And then when we are ready, the next skin appears and that old sheds. It would be just easier to go with this natural process instead of fighting it, wouldn’t it?

The shiny new coat can’t be seen yet. Or someone dressed you and so you kept the jacket on because you gave them the authority over you – to tell you, mold you on what’s cool and what’s not. Hmmmm

( 🙂 this is an example of a great jacket that’s just too small – I couldn’t resist!)

But this week…ah…this week has been just peachy. So much so that I actually feel I’ve got a good rhythm going.

And so, I will continue to keep moving forward, upward. Growing, expanding. Allowing for the resting, recovering cycle to be part of my process.

And I will celebrate all the joy and wonder and love and interest that comes with the ebb and flow, moving my way upward in awareness and capacity as a whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, happy ME!!

What I am most excited about in this moment is that I am actively sharing these tools with my boys. I have the insight now in how to bring this to my boys, gently and in a way that will nourish their minds and souls, as well as allow me to feel confident and competent as their teacher and mom. That brings soaring delight with tears of joy as I express my gratitude for Divine insight here.

Here’s an oldie but a goodie from Earl that’s been a beautiful thread to add to the tapestry.

There is no better way to spend one’s time on a daily basis, no matter what’s going on (well… if your hair is on fire, go ahead and get that put out first). But to sit and get quiet, be still and relax the mind. Relax into that Divine consciousness. You don’t even need to do anything. No chant, no question, no candle. Just BE. That’ll do. That’ll do.

Ok, shorter post this week. I love my TRIBE so very much.

I am grateful beyond any words.

I wrap each of you in love and light and chi.

Blessings.

Stephana