The 3 Most Important Questions You Must Answer To Never Fail

How This Subtle Piece of Wisdom Can Change Your World

One of my darling’s of Literature is Leo Tolstoy and his story of  “The Three Questions” impacted me profoundly as a mother and as a business owner.

If you aren’t familiar with the story, it’s based on a king’s idea that he would never fail if he knew the answer to these three questions:

What is the right time for every action?
Who are the most necessary people?
What is the most important thing to do?

Just as many intelligent and capable business owners seek answers to questions like these every day, you will always get different answers.

Are you paying attention?

There will always be more information out there, there will always be more “answers”.

Until you fully understand the questions through application, you will be left seeking instead of succeeding.

As a business owner, you are naturally innovative. I am asking you to shift your thinking now, so you can finally understand the answers you seek – have always been there.

In fact, I’m quite certain you’ve held the answers all along, but they’ve been fragmented and you’ve been distracted from them.

We’ve been taught to always be reading – but why? Is more information going to be the answer?

We’ve been told we have to work harder – but why? Is more hustle going to be the answer?

I don’t believe you need more information – there’s no magic book, coach or program that if you just had it or did that or hired them – you’d have the answer.

So where do you break this cycle?

When you continue to seek you will always find someone who is willing to give you their answer.

Until you experience the answers for yourself you may never understand the meaning of your own purposeful gifts. As in Tolstoy’s story, so many men attempted to answer the king’s questions, but they all came up with different answers.

When the king decided to ask a wise hermit in a nearby village he had to disguise himself as a peasant, leaving his guards behind.

The hermit was tending his garden when the king arrived. The king asked his questions, but the old hermit went on digging. The king was inclined to offer to dig for him for a while and after digging for some time the king asked his questions again.

Just as the hermit might have answered, a man emerged from the dark woods bleeding profusely from a terrible stomach wound.

The king immediately tended his wound and took care of this man, staying the night in the hermit’s hut. The next day the man was greatly improved but incredulous as to what the king had done for him. The man confessed he had known who the king was and that the king had his brother executed and property seized, he, in fact, had come to kill the king! But the king’s guards had wounded him.

The man pledges his allegiance to the king and goes on his way.

Up until that point, the king had forgotten the questions. Once again the king asks the hermit and this time the hermit responds that he had just had his questions answered.

When we come to know the answers for ourselves it changes everything. As an entrepreneur, as a friend, as a parent, as a human being.

May you come to know the answers for yourself.

The most important time is now. As the present is really the only time over which we have power.

Whomever you are with is the most important person.

To do good to the person you are with is the most important thing to do.

Allow this idea to simmer and see how it evolves in your own life. You have enormous capacity and ability to affect the people in your world profoundly. If you aren’t realizing your own potential in the 3 core areas of your life, reach out for a chat. I just might be that optimizing hermit you’ve been seeking.

No Two Clients Are Alike

If You Don’t Understand Your Client, You Won’t Be Able To Stand Your Client

As a mom and a business owner I learn a lot from parenting that helps me in my business. I have two very different little boys and I have had to adjust my thinking about how to raise children. No two children are alike. My oldest, Ryder, who is eight, is gentle, nurturing and has an innate ability to see the bigger picture. Dax, my 5-year-old, is an artist through and through. Emotional, sensitive yet very intense. I’ve had to really step back and see my boys from a place of full presence and not fit them into a structure I found in books, approaches or guidelines. In other words, I still have to be and do my parenting.

As any parent knows, understanding is one of the most important pieces to parenting. If you don’t understand your children, you won’t be able to “stand” your child.

In business, no two clients are alike. Any cookie cutter approach or system out there can tell you to do “these steps and it’s a no fail”. I say, that’s a fast way to poor results. If you do not understand your client you won’t be able to stand them. Conversely, they won’t be able to stand you and you are going to have a lot of unhappy clients or none at all.

You must understand your client and their unique needs, what drives them, what specific fears, beliefs or lack of skills might be stopping them. If you communicate in a way that’s like a robot or a script not your own – no matter how much you’ve rehearsed or practiced, you aren’t fully present – not with yourself, not for your client. I can guarantee full understanding will be missing.

Last week I was working with a client who had a challenge around clearly communicating during enrollment conversations. I knew she was following the script of a competent and successful business coach but she hadn’t “made it her own”. As an actress I am very much an advocate of living truthfully even in imaginary circumstances and I teach this to my clients. We don’t need anymore talking heads. We need hearts opening and communicating their truth.

What I felt was intriguing and what she experienced was a breakthrough that led to her landing her first major client with a huge success story from the client just from the enrollment conversation alone.

Here’s what I coached her on: I knew the best way I could help her was to “ACT” as a real client so I could actually “FEEL” how it went rather than think and analyze the process. When she was following the script I felt a break/cut in our connection and as a result the understanding diminished. I felt less interested in what she had to offer and actually confused by the words she was saying and in her ability to help me and my desire to hire her, when moments before had genuinely been there.

I felt myself really wanting her services when she was fully connected with me, listening to me, coaching me, directing me from her grounded and authentic place as her unique genius, her blessed gift and talent as a coach. It happened each time she went back to the “script”. I could feel the disconnection. I could feel the break in understanding. Even though she was word for word of a “masterly” written script. I could feel myself getting distracted. As I expressed this to my client we were able to tweak and work through this in order to refine her enrollment conversations. By the end of the session, she was laughing and excited about doing what she does best, connecting!

Every time I work with a client I gain so much more understanding. It is so important to fully understand our own truth, know our own unique voice and from a confident present place, listen, observe and respond. Only then will you truly understand the person in front of you, whether it is your child, your client or yourself! That’s what I like to call stepping on to Your Center Stage.

How You Can Increase Your Impact and Power By Simplifying Your Life

Have you ever used a camera with a manual focus?

Have you ever seen an out of focus picture?

You know how it gets hard to differentiate from the focal point, maybe the eyes of your subject or what might be the most important for the viewer to focus on?

There are so many allegories around this idea of FOCUS –

a lazer

a jet stream spray nozzle vs a sprinkle nozzle

a rifle vs a shot gun

you get the idea.

Your power, your impact in ANY area of your life is predicated on your ability to establish focus, hold a focus, direct a focus and get agreement on that focus.

Whether in business, personal, financial, religious, education, politics, relationships.

The moment you dilute your focus you decrease your power and your impact.

So I say, it’s time to simplify life.

And every single area therein.

Anything that dilutes or distracts your pure focus is a hindrance.

Now, since I have a primary focus on helping people through movement – and I can narrow down pretty far here to optimal mindful movement and nutrition for the average human body (not a cirque d’ solei performer.

So what might be required for you, if you wish to increase your impact and power by simplifying your life in the area that will lead you to achieve optimal power or well being and your best version of yourself.

Get rid of everything in your life that is not directly focused or in focus with your best life ever!