There has been more internal change in my life in the last 13 weeks than I’ve had in the last many years. I’ve gone in to warp speed hyper drive since stepping on the Master Key Master Mind Alliance “rocket ship”.
And…I like it. I like it a whole lot.
For most of my life I would have an end in mind and doggedly go toward that end heeding no rules and vaulting over hurdles as if I were super girl. At least in my mind. In reality, I would be forcing the physical universe to do what I wanted it to do by statistics and rules of another master.
If I arrived at the outcome I desired, it was because of hard work, nose to the grind stone, “make it go right”, no matter what insane process it meant.
That has worked…for the most part. But the outcome when I arrived, left me deflated and rethinking the process value vs the outcome value ratio.
This week I have been shifting from this pattern of forced outcomes. It seems that something has finally shaken free from an old blueprint that was likely tattooed to the inside of my operating system.
This morning, after my “sit”, I came away with such clarity of the beautiful simplicity of the nature of the universe.
I felt the covering that I had been refusing to let go of, even though it was so warn through and wreaked of the blood, sweat and tears of a rigid and forced life, slip away from me. If felt as if more of my Light was shining free.
The golden Buddha statue revealing more of itself.
Today happens to also be Winter Solstice. A special occasion in my world. The tradition of the spiral walk and lighting of the candles, the songs with my boys. This powerful energy is on my heart as I write this.
Next year at this time I see this spiral walk taking place with 100’s of friends, family, cherished connections on the Kaizen Village/Yogilachi Retreat Center compound. I can smell the evergreen, bees wax, chestnuts roasting and hot chocolates steaming. I can hear the laughter and awe of wonder and joy as the light glistens through the dark. I can taste my beloveds kiss and feel his warm embrace as we walk together and watch my boys in delight as they play sword fun with their friends. I can feel the sheer bliss of this moment and it is alive in me now.
The darkest time…the shortest day…the longest night. This gift that so few of us can fully embrace with our rushed, do more, be more, have more or you are not worthy…
Nature does not judge. No… No. That is my judgement. Nature never judges. Only IS.
I am eternally grateful to be present in this time and in this space as much unfolding is taking place on so many levels in the universe. Can you feel it?
I can know that LIFE is the most precious gift and that DEATH too, and this cycle may be the only way to actually fully know LIFE.
I am so fully present to the Grace and Light in this moment I feel as if I can help bring that powerful light (outcome) to the world through giving this: Gratitude. Habit. Persistence. Natural Laws and continuing to learn and live this process.
That is the kind of outcome I dream of…but what of this process? Now that’s the real challenge for me. To see the entire process and to allow the process to unfold while I remain steadfast to the outcome. To know that the laws of nature are something I can allow to work for me not against. That’s the process that I am going to allow more of because it’s truly miraculous.
Which brings me back to the spiral of going inward, toward the dark, embracing the dormant period. Ahhh. What a delicious place to be when you understand…when you know you too are part of nature and there are laws that cannot be bent, instead are gifts to allow your will.
So with the right process, natural process – yes indeed, focus on the process. With the best outcome for all, yes diligently focus on the outcome.
Then allow the two to become a natural unfolding.
The breath goes in and the breath must come out in order to go in again.
And so the dark will return to the light.
Just be patient.
Solstice Blessings to you and yours.