My boys have just left with their dad.

There is always a dual sensation within. Loss and a relaxing of muscles.

The first is a natural maternal feeling. The second, intentional.

They have been gone 6 minutes and I miss them already. It’s exactly what I need as a reminder of how precious they are to me and to NEVER EVER take them or a single moment with them for granted.

In 47 minutes I will be unplugging the internet, shutting off my phone and going into the silence.

I need to sleep first, but then I when I am ready I will get in my car and drive to the coast.

Upon arrival I will BE.

This is the only thing that is calling me – the lighthouse in an otherwise chaotic, overworked, overtaxed, overextended exhilarating existence in this high octane life of mine.

I’ve begun reading Master Key from intro and now on Lesson 4.

I am grateful for this post view – it’s as if I have never seen it before. But it’s in me. It’s in me, because I practiced it for 6 months.

I desire to create a local master mind connection as well as global and continue on as a Guide in the MKMMA. It is worthy of my time and treasure and talent. I’m grateful to have the opportunity. Temples, churches, synagogues do not hold the solution I once sought. We must now go forth on our own. But community is essential.

I won’t sacrifice my sovereignty and my self directed thoughts for community. Instead I will build one and they will come.

My MM partners V and N are anchors in a stormy sea – no they are the playful dolphins rescuing when needed, otherwise playfully exploring this beautiful ocean of life.

I am so grateful.

The residual effects of the divorce are old blueprints, patterns pulling me back to an outmoded resource. It’s ok. I know how to navigate this. I am wiser now. Yes, older too.

I can do this. I am smart enough. I am strong enough.

I want so much to bring Yogilachi® to the world. Knowing that I can help someone get out of pain without drugs and surgery – knowing this with every part of my being. And being able to teach this to them so they can be back in control of their health…how can I not want to share this with the world. For now, just with my community here. What is the block on this studio? Why is there still struggle with this landlord? Why is there still lies allowed on this line?

I will clear what needs clearing for me – for my universe. Then let go. I will set the intention and focus my thoughts. I will allow. I will hold the highest good and best outcome for all.

What a gift to be able to go to Cirque du Soleil Crystal and to Marrakesh last night. How grateful I am to share this beautiful experience with my boys because of gifts from a wonderful and generous client. I am grateful.

Glorious gratitude.

Whatever else, I am grateful.

My days begin around the 4am hour. I’ve transitioned my boys into their own rooms with their own wonderful beds and yet they still find their way to my bed. I know this will take some time. As with anything, there is transition time. I recall the many (probably close to 20) times when I tried this process throughout their earlier years and gave up. I won’t give up this time.

My mornings now belong to me. I had not cultivated strong and specific boundaries in this way and I realize now that this is quite likely one of the most important and vital outcomes from the Master Key experience.

Since the birth of my boys I’ve given 100% to them. Co-sleeping and the whole package from homeschooling, extended nursing, etc. From a place a love, joy and wonder and delight. I’ve never regretted a moment. I don’t regret even a moment now. But this morning when my eldest son came in around 5:40am in the middle of my silent meditation, saying he couldn’t sleep and began talking and explaining,  I felt a strong sensation – something similar to dragging ones nails on a chalkboard.

I still feel it now. I am slightly resentful. Not toward him as much as toward the idea that I did not establish healthy boundaries for all of us to be able to get our deeper needs met in a healthy way. The need of silence. The need of autonomy. The need of freedom.

This week many experiences have come and gone. Reading the scroll marked VI is wonderful for me. Each time the words are different. They land in a way for me that resonates with what I am feeling in the moment that I read the scroll. So it encourages me to read it, yet again, and for the third time of the day, out loud, after 23 days, to see what I will discover next time.

The Master Key Lesson 24 is once again powerful. TRUTH.

Inner truth. I have much to do in this area. Although I have come such a long way in the past 6 months, I clearly see how far I have to go.

We cannot stay the same. This I know. I had positioned myself to stay fixed. Stay stuck in a place that no longer served me, but I felt trapped. That is no longer the way. I am grateful for this realization and outcome from the MKMMA.

Observing the TRUTH of nature this week. As an assignment. But this is something that is like my medicine. It’s strong medicine for me to be in nature and just BE. I wish this gift for all peoples. I think it would CURE much of what’s “wrong” with the world today.

Wrong thinking – that is the reason anything is not right in our lives.

Can I convince myself of the truth?

Do I need to?

No, I can observe.

The seeds are growing. My radish seeds are already sprouting. All I did was plant them in the earth.

Remove the errors and you can eliminate the lack, the disease, the problems.

We must remove them from within for the reflection to change.

Go into the silence and know the TRUTH! I know this. I’ve experienced this when Kelly had his heart attack and he was in a coma. I know exactly what I did. Silence and only 1 thought remained. Daddy healthy, happy and at home. That was TRUTH.

The correct method to help yourself or help anyone is to know the TRUTH and hold that TRUTH until you see it manifest.

Spirit is the only reality. -Haanel

What is the cause of all genius, of all your power? It is the I. And this I must be developed.

Our actions tell what our Truth is inside. When we can wake up and realize the TRUTH. Who we are. What we can do.

Then we will have arrived at the starting point of what we can really create here on this earthly plane. May we all experience Truth.

As this “program” comes to an end this week, I can only convey gratitude.

Today and every day, no matter what the outward appearance shows, I know the TRUTH and I am THANK FULL.